Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two-cents in.
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song . . . the guy who wrote that, wrote everything.
Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. . . . If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area was missing.
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.
When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep well?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes"
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
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