Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on cats, food, and justice

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two-cents in.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on order and songs

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song . . . the guy who wrote that, wrote everything.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on cooking, electricity, and life

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. . . . If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on children

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child . . . eventually.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on practice

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on mistakes and sleep

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep well?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes"

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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