Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Steven Wright (1955 -)
Contributed by: Zaady
Why is it a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put your two-cents in.
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song . . . the guy who wrote that, wrote everything.
Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. . . . If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area was missing.
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.
When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep well?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes"
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
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