Steven Wright

1955 -

A Quote by Steven Wright on automobiles

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone. When I came back the entire area was missing.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on decisions, lies, and time

You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on time

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You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time.

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on money

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Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright on death

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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Steven Wright

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Steven Wright (1955 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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