Sir Max Beerbohm

Most women are not so young as they are painted.

To say that a man is vain means merely that he is pleased with the effect he produces on other people. A conceited man is satisfied with the effect he produces on himself.

"After all," as a pretty girl once said to me, "women are a sex by themselves, so to speak."

All fantasy should have a solid base in reality.

Of all the objects of hatred, a woman once loved is the most hateful.

Strange when you come to think of it, that of all the countless folk who have lived before our time on this planet not one is known in history for in legend as having died of laughter.

She was one of the people who say "I don't know anything about music really, but I know what I like."

Zuleika, on a desert island, would have spent most of her time in looking for a man's footprint.

I have known no man of genius who had not to pay, in some affliction or defect either physical or spiritual, for what the gods had given him.

Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.