Scott Raymond Adams

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.

The Dilbert Principle: People are idiots.

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.

In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called Karoshi. I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon.

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.