Scott Adams (Dilbert)

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on dilbert

in

Dilbert [in his cubicle]: I ask for so little. [Pause] And boy do I get it.

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on catbert and pointy-haired boss

Catbert, Evil Director of Human Resources [Talking to Pointy-Haired Boss]: "You don't need to reward employees. Just torture them less. It will feel the same as a reward."

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on tina the technical writer, pointy-haired boss, and dilbert

Pointy-Haired Boss [to Tina]: "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure. We've discovered our product causes hallucinations and sterility. See if you can put a positive spin on that."

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on stupid people and dilbert

Stupid Person [talking to Dilbert, who must pass the test of withstanding stupidity]: "My computer screen says, 'Press any key to continue.' Can I borrow your keys? Mine are locked in my Yugo. I could break the driver's side window...But it's bad enough that the windshield is gone."

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on asok the intern

I wish, I wish, I wish I had a spine.

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on dilbert and pointy-haired boss

Do you see this thimble? I keep my morale in it.

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on asok the intern and dilbert

Asok the Intern: "I have a question about this document marked "Proprietary". If I spent my whole life searching, do you think I would find anyone who would care about it?"

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on journey to cubeville, scott adams, and dilbert

Watch me not care

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on alice, pointy-haired boss, dilbert, and scott adams

Okay, let me explain this in the simplest possible way...you...are...an...idiot.

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

A Quote by Scott Adams (Dilbert) on dilbert, dogbert, theft, and furniture

I can only think of one thing worse than having all of my stuff stolen. And that is having some of it returned.

Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Source: "Journey to Cubeville" by Scott Adams

Contributed by: BanterBanter

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