Roseanne Barr

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

Excuse the mess but we live here.

They're all mine. . . . Of course, I'd trade any one of them for a dishwasher.

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.