Robert Charles Benchley

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two young men rushing about in mysterious formations, and whatever he brought in his flask.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

Most of the arguments to which I am a party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.