Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P.J. O'Rourke (1947 -)
Contributed by: earthandsky1
Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did.
Contributed by: Dr. Ron
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
Contributed by: Zaady
America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
Source: Rolling Stone
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
Source: 1993, Address at the Cato Institute
Never fight an inanimate object.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs; we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power.
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
Source: Parliament of Whores (1991)
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