Phyllis Diller

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on womenswisdom

"I want my children to have
all the things I couldn't afford.
Then I want to move in with them."


- Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Carla

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on age

in

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on children, home, niceness, and rest

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on chance

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on laws, motherhood, and pain

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on baseball and children

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on clothes, justice, and wedding

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A chinese man threw up on me.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on children, life, and teaching

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on christmas, day, and jobs

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Phyllis Diller on body and originality

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

Phyllis Diller

Contributed by: Zaady

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