Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

It's a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people don't want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.

I just sit at the typewriter and curse a bit.

I always advise people never to give advice.

While not exactly disgruntled, he was far from feeling gruntled. He spoke with a certain what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.