Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
Contributed by: Zaady
There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.
I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
Source: Versus, I949. I Do, I Will, I Have
Some primal termite knocked on wood; and tasted it, and found it good. That is why your Cousin May fell through the parlor floor today.
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
Source: Happy Days, 1933, The Terrible People
I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet.
I myself am more and more inclined to agree with Omar and Satchel Paige as I grow older: Don't try to rewrite what the moving finger has writ, and don't ever look over your shoulder.
Source: There's Always Another Windmill,1968. If a Boder Meet a Boder, Need a Boder Cry? Yes
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Source: I’m a Stranger Here Myself, 1938, Interoffice Memorandum
I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?
There was a young belle of old Natchez Whose garments were always in patchez. When comment arose On the state of her clothes, She drawled, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!"
Source: I’m a Stranger Here Myself, 1938, Requiem
Copyright © 2016 Gaiam, Inc.