Progress may have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
Contributed by: James
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.
Contributed by: Zaady
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile.
Source: Hard Lines,1931, The Turtle
Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.
Source: Everyone but Thee and Me, 1962, Is There an Oculist in the House?
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Source: Song of the Open Road, 1933
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
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