Ogden Nash

Progress may have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.

Some primal termite knocked on wood; and tasted it, and found it good. That is why your Cousin May fell through the parlor floor today.

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?