Mark Twain

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained.

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Without fools the rest of us could not succeed.

We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we had ever invented - human liberty.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here; Warm southern wind, blow softly here; Green sod above, lie light, lie light - Good night, dear heart, good night, good night.

Now, what I contend is that my body is my own, at least I have always so regarded it. If I do harm through my experimenting with it, it is I who suffer, not the state.

You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would.

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.