Buy land. They've stopped making it.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Contributed by: Zaady
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apples for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.
Source: Pudd’nhead Wilson
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
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