I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Contributed by: Zaady
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Source: Following the Equator, 1897
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
It were not best that we should all think alike; it is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar, 1894
Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
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