If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Contributed by: Zaady
More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Source: Notebooks (1935)
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Source: Following the Equator, 1897
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
Source: Pudd’nhead Wilson
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
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