It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Contributed by: Zaady
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Crank - a man with a new idea until it succeeds.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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