Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Contributed by: Zaady
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.
I'll risk forty dollars that he can outjump an frog in Calaveras county
Source: The Celebrated Jumping Frog, 1865
In studying the traits and dispositions of the so-called lower animals, and contrasting them with man's, I find the result humiliating to me.
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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