Helen Rowland

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

Call the bald man, "Boy;" make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.