"No" is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you… Declining to hear "no" is a signal that someone is either seeking control or refusing to relinquish it.
Every day people engaged in the clever defiance of their own intuition become, in midthought, victims of violence and accidents. So when we wonder why we are victims so often, the answer is clear: It is because we are so good at it.
We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.