Gavin De Becker

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on no, parenting, teaching, and justifications

We have to teach young people that "No" is a complete sentence.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on no, negotiation, justifications, controlling, and abuse

"No" is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you…  Declining to hear "no" is a signal that someone is either seeking control or refusing to relinquish it.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on niceness, sociology, and parenting

We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on intuition, violence, and victims

Every day people engaged in the clever defiance of their own intuition become, in midthought, victims of violence and accidents. So when we wonder why we are victims so often, the answer is clear: It is because we are so good at it.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on fear, child abuse, and terrorism

The hijacking of an American jet in Athens looms larger in our concern than the parent who kills a child, even though the one happens rarely, and the other happens daily.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on media, hindsight, and foresight

And why do we worship hindsight (as in the news media's constant rehash of the day, the week, the year) and yet distrust foresight, which actually might make a difference in our lives?

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

A Quote by Gavin De Becker on victims, violence, advocacy, public policy, and control

No matter how famous the victim, no matter how powerful the advocates, it simply isn't always possible to control the conduct of other people.

Gavin De Becker

Source: The Gift of Fear

Contributed by: Tsuya

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