A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)
Contributed by: Mary_C
Committee - A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Contributed by: speakerforthelost
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
Contributed by: Chris
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Contributed by: Zaady
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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