Fred Allen

1894 - 1956

A Quote by Fred Allen on human, human being, and story

A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Mary_C

A Quote by Fred Allen on committee and individualism

Committee - A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.  

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: speakerforthelost

A Quote by Fred Allen on ownership and death

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Chris

A Quote by Fred Allen on celebrity, darkness, and life

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on decisions and people

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on mountains and work

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on money

in

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on good

in

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on people and television

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Fred Allen on age, comedy, competition, history, jokes, life, machines, and time

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Contributed by: Zaady

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