You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck (1927 - 1996)
Contributed by: Zaady
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally brain dead.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Source: Mark and Barbara Hall Collection.
Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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