As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.
Source: The Power of Now : A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Pages: 131
The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, person and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious, and other collective identifications.
None of these is you.
Source: The Power of Now : A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, Pages: 37