Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
Earl Wilson (1907 - 1987)
Source: Field Newspaper Syndicate
Contributed by: Zaady
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
One way to get high blood-pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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