Earl Wilson

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.