If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson (1907 - 1987)
Contributed by: Zaady
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
Source: Field Newspaper Syndicate
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
One way to get high blood-pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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