Dorothy Parker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of the tires.

Speech to American Horticultural Society; when challenged to use horticulture in a sentence: You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet One perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get One perfect rose.

Then if my friendships break and bend, There's little need to cry The while I know that every foe Is faithful till I die.

Well, there are always those who cannot distinguish between glitter and glamour . . . the glamour of Isadora Duncan came from her great, torn, bewildered, foolhardy soul.

Her mind lives tidily, apart From cold and noise and pain, And bolts the door against her heart, Out wailing in the rain.

On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?

Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Four things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Every love is the love before In a duller dress.