Dave Barry

1947 -

A Quote by Dave Barry on electricity, force, jobs, justice, maxims, people, and seriousness

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios, mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a serious electrical shock. This proved that lighting was powered by the same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: “What is Electricity?”

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on achievement, adaptability, america, company, day, design, electricity, inventions, simplicity, and time

Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the electric company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electrical circuit: the electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then (this is the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again. This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught...the last year any new electricity was generated in the United States was 1937; the electric companies have been merely re-selling it ever since, which is why they have so much free time to apply for rate increases.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: “What is Electricity?”

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on inventions

The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison. . . . Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: “What is Electricity?”

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on guidance, needs, peace, television, truth, wisdom, and world

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: Kids Today, They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on life, men, and women

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering there are men on base.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: Miami Herald

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on weapons

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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on automobiles, dogs, and needs

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on garden, jobs, neighbors, and preparation

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on accidents

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: 1998

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on popularity

. . . thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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