Dave Barry

1947 -

A Quote by Dave Barry on guidance, needs, peace, television, truth, wisdom, and world

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: Kids Today, They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on life, men, and women

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering there are men on base.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: Miami Herald

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on garden, justice, plants, and trouble

The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing the other vegetables. At night, you will be able to hear the ground quake as more and more zucchinis erupt.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on certainty, colors, darkness, fashion, and rules

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks should always be the same color, * Or they should at least both be fairly dark.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on clothes and golf

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on computers and purpose

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Source: 1994 in Miami Herald

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on computers, intelligence, internet, life, mind, people, and television

The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other.... While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most settings, uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS."

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on weapons

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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on automobiles, dogs, and needs

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

A Quote by Dave Barry on garden, jobs, neighbors, and preparation

Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor's motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.

Dave Barry (1947 -)

Contributed by: Zaady

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