Daphne Rose Kingma

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on love, mystical, unconditional, affirm, and yes

Love is the mystical, unconditionally all-affirming Yes.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Contributed by: Annie

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on the future of love, love, light, relationships, and upheaval of love love is coming to find us

Love is a mighty power.  It is light.  It is the energy of life.  It brings us into life and sustains us while we live and breathe. 

Love is an energy, not a substance.  It is essence, not matter.  You can't contain it; you can't put it in a box, but you can feel it, taste it, and know it.  Its presence is unmistakable.  It is exquisite and profound.  And when you are in love, nobody, not your best friend, your parents, or even your own mind can talk you out of it. 

Love is mysterious and beautiful.  It makes us happy, gives us hope, allows us to believe that the impossible can happen.  And yet, it's inexplicable.  It can't be defined or analyzed, catalogued or priced.  Its premiere property is that when it exists it can never be mistaken for anything else, and nothing else, no matter how worthwhile or supposedly grand, can ever be passed off as love.   

Love is a divine energy that steps into human circumtances, a timeless essence that enters time.  It is older, wiser, finer, truer, sweeter, and more radiant than any human being.  It is what makes us wise, fine, true, sweet, and radiant.  It is the best - the essence of God - in us.  And it is love, this exquisite energy, with which we connect when we first enter into the human experience we call 'a relationship'.  We see this energy in one another's eyes, we feel it in our bodies, and we know that something bigger than life has stepped into our life to capture our attention.  It is this highly charged, bouyant, transcendent, delicious feeling, and the longing for more, for a lifetime of it, that propels us into relationships.

Relationships are the endless interplay of this vast energy of love and all that occurs in our daily human lives.  Our desire to feel this love forever, to be in love always, to repeat and endlessly recapture this ecstatic luminous feeling day by day, year by year, with the person who first inspired it in us is not only why we 'fall in love'  but also why we choose 'to have relationships'.  It is also why, when our relationships go sour or grow threadbare, we reminisce about the way they once were.  We want to reconnect with love.

Our greatest desire is to have our relationships return to us again and again to the transforming and beautiful experience of the love that first inspired them and brought them into being.  We live to love.

If all of this is true about love, and I believe it to be, then why are we so often disappointed in the love in our lives?  Why does it so often seem to fail us and why is it so often a pitched battle?

Like so many of the rest of us, I am a veteran of the relationship wars, and by profession I am also a diplomat in love's peacekeeping operations.  I've entered and ended more than a dozen fully formed intimate relationships, ranging from conventional marriage to passionate interludes that ran their course, then ended.  In some I left; in others I was left.  In some I was betrayed; in others I was the betrayer.  A few ended in anger, many more ended by creating the portal to a new and deeper connection, allowing the love that had fused them to become even more profund after the relationship's so-called demise. 

I've written more than half a dozen books about relationships from the point of view that an intimate relationship is the ultimate container of love in the human experience.  As I wrote these books about the traditional forms of relationship, urging people toward the enchantment of romance and the fulfillments of marriage, I watched as my own relationships broke the rules of convention and assumed surprising and extraordinary forms.  At first I thought this was just me, but then I realized everyone I was counseling was also living in relationships that were in conflict with their own definitions of what a relationship should be.  Their relationships, too, were turning somersaults and taking on forms that shocked them, and the very strangeness of all this change was sowing a sense of confusion and disaster.

In fact, these startling, new relationships, which conventional minds might call aberrant., are actually Roman candles lighting the way to a world of new possibility.
Something wonderful is happening in all of this chaos but nobody knows what it is.  Everybody in this position is thinking, 'Other people have real relationships.  What's the matter with me?'

There's nothing the matter with any of us, but  there is a grand transformation afoot.  A mysterious energy seems to be taking quietly over, and things, we may say, just aren't the way they used to be.  When we say this, we aren't like our grandmothers, crotchety in their rocking chairs, lamenting the passing of the past.  A new world, a new way of being, is being born in our midst.  We can feel it. 

Things are categorically different.  Time has a strange new quality.  It passes before we have a moment to rest in it.  There's a new softness in our midst, a way of being with one another, that is gracious and gentle and kind. There is also a beautiful strangely infiltrating awareness, a mystic pulse of connection that seems to be gathering us together.  Love is trying to find us. 

And in the process, all the forms are chaning.  Our whole world of relationships is in an uproar.  Love is the wrecking ball that is pulverizing every relationship of record that isn't wide enough or brave enough to let real love in.  As a consequence, we can't fantsize anymore about what our relationship lives will be.  The truth is exceptions and aberrations abound.  It's as if we've awoken one morning to discover that a blizzard of transformation occurred during the night. The new world has its strange beauty.  Familiar landmarks are vaguely, heartwarmingly still visible beneath the blanket of new snow, but it's treacherous out there.  We're cold, we long for the hearth; we want to come home. 

This book is about the breaking down of relationships as we have known them, the subsequent emergence of new forms of relatedness, and the future of love.  It is about a journey we're already taking.  We have been moving backwards, forwards, and sideways into the future, moving away from a place that was dear and sweet and familiar toward a world that is strange and forbidden.

Having been raised to regard marriage as the only honorable relationship, we woke up to discover that it was only one in a vast array of intimate connections.  Our relationships are about our hearts, and all of this chaos is breaking our hearts.  We don't know whether to go along with all this transformation or resist it, whether to think of it as some kind of progress or to dig in our heels, praying for a reprieve from all this harrowing evolution. 

The truth is we all come from love, but our relationships have often been a detour from love.  I believe that we were all together once as a single, vast, pulsating, luminous consciousness that was divided bit by bit, person by person, into the tiny shining fragments that are our individual souls.  Love is the river, each human being a droplet of water, and together, in spite of our fears and resistance, we are returning to love, melting and flowing toward home. 

We're all looking for more love.  It's that simple.  In the end, nothing else really matters to us.  In the beginning and in the middle, we're concerned with the forms of our relationships, what they look like, what our parents think of them, how they stack up in the eyes of the world, and whether we're getting our share of the goodies:  sexually, emotionally, and financially.

But in the end, we won't care about the forms.  The forms will be as multitudinous as the stars and all that will matter is the love that was in them.  No one can escape the divine upheaval of love.  I haven't; you won't; your neighbors and strangers and family won't either.  Love is coming to find us.  All of us.  Because love is our essence.  Love is who we are.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on beauty, aliveness, interest, challenge, juice, vitality, passion, cells, morning, and a loving moment

Aliveness
Aliveness is energy. It's the juice,the vitality, and the passion that wakes up our cells every morning. It's what makes us want to dance. It's the energy that moves a relationship from the status quo to something grander and much more expansive, something that makes our hearts beat faster, our minds, and our eyes open wider than ever before. Everything is of interest to a person who is truly alive, whether it's a challenge, a loving moment, a bucket of grief, or a glimpse of beauty.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love, Pages: 164

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on generosity, grace, gracious, kind, give, giving, healed, and healing

Since we remember that we are really all part of one great soul, we can see our beloved as ourselves, and know that we can give without end, without harm. And we know we can give everything. We can give not only our material possessions but our words, our bodies, our insights, our time, our money, our empathy, our listening, and our compassion.

My own parents, married forty-seven years, always called one another "Dearie".  
"Dearie," one of them would call out. "What is it, Dearie?" the other would always respond, as if to say, Whatever you need, I will give it to you, whatever you ask, I will do it gladly. The antiphony of their "Dearies" was a sweet music that punctuated my young life. To me it meant that they saw one another as equal in spirit, and that in that great love they were always willing to serve one another. They called each other "Dearie" to their dying day.

Generosity is circle that returns unto itself. The more we give, the more we have. And in that state of generosity, willing spiritual sharing, we ourselves are healed.  For when are generous, we can see the vast abundance that is also there for us. This is true generosity because no one is excluded. We are drawn together, united by it. Through it we have a taste of union. It grants us ease and gives us the grace of knowing that life is more than an endless struggle. Indeed it is gracious, generous, and kind.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love, Pages: 173..174

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on love, life, embrace, all-encompassin, home, one, friends, no strangers, no edges, no walls, no mind games, joy, and gratitude

As we expand, we melt. Our hearts open. Our thinking changes. Our obsessions subside, our addictions quietly pass away. This is the slow, elegant, loving process through which, little by little, we let go of the old and welcome the new. We open our hearts and allow in a few more people, just a few more relationship experiences, just a few more kinds of relationships. We learn there are no mistakes, and our hearts become a circle so large that there are no more boundaries, no differences, no judgments. We know the graciousness of that great undivided familiarity, in which there are no more strangers, only friends.

We stretch, and to our amazement we don't break. Instead, we grow. Suddenly, everything becomes easier, and our hearts, which once we believed could love only one person, or were battered so badly we thought they could never love again, expand so fully that the whole world is welcome. In such a state of openness, we see that we've only forgotten how to be together, we faintly and beautifully remember that once we were all together. We remember the way we were in a universe of incredible softness where there were no edges, no walls, no mind games, no rules. In that incredible world, we were happy. We loved one another. It wasn't a feeling. It was a state of being called joy.

The future of love is this all-encompassing embrace. For when we have expanded so much, we will finally arrive at a place where the heart can open its doors to everything and everyone. Our souls have been taking us on this journey and Love is the magnificent destination to which they have been leading us. Now we can feel joy. Now, at last, we can be satisfied. Now, finally, we are home.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love, Pages: 217

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on thanks, gratitude, thanksgiving, being grateful, appreciate, appreciative, and love is appreciation

Life is not a problem. It is a miracle, a gift, a teaching, a celebration. Thanksgiving acknowledges the miracle of life - every gift - and saying "you're welcome" is a kind of thanksgiving in itself. It acknowledges the gift of thanks. It says that we live in a world of beautifully interacting thankfulness. It affirms that we live in a world awash with treasures, with miracles and blessings, that we are blessed with an endless array of people, moments, experiences, surprises, magic, curiosities, and beautiful coincidences to which our only delighted, ecstatic, and unchanging response should be thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is the soul's acknowledgment that all is well, that life is a grand and beautiful gift, that all we have to do is carry ourselves to the altar of life with a shouted breath of thanksgiving. Give thanks

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love, Pages: 179..180

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma

Empathy

Suddenly, we are willing to see and to serve. .....we know the grace of being able to look at another's suffering and say, "I see your hurt. I see the tragic battering of your spirit. I understand your need and I'm here to feel it with you, to show you that you are no longer alone."

This is the bath of empathic compassion that arises from the level of our own soul and washes over the ailing personality, wiping its tears, washing its feet, cleansing its wounds. With such an elegant embracing of another, we can truly feel with them.

We do this on the spiritual level. In a moment of grace, we open the frame of the context and start asking the larger questions: How can I love in this situation? What must I understand about this other person in order to gather him into a healing embrace of emotion? How can I quietly, gracefully join with him in his suffering?

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love, Pages: empathy, service, emotion

Contributed by: Kundan

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on love, future, power, essence, loving, relationship, daphne, rose kingma, presence, joy, and inspiration

The truth is that we have all come from love, but our relationships have often been a detour from love… Love is the river, each human being a droplet of water, and together, in spite of our fears and resistance, we are returning to love, melting and flowing toward home. We’re all looking for more love. It’s that simple. In the end, nothing else really matters to us. In the beginning and in the middle, we’re connected with the forms of our relationships, what they look like, what our parents think of them, how they stack up in the eyes of the world, and whether we’re getting our share of the goodies: sexually, emotionally, and financially.

But in the end, we won’t care about the forms. The forms will be as multitudinous as the stars and all that will matter is the love that was in them. No one can escape the divine upheaval of love. I haven’t; you won’t; our neighbors and strangers and family won’t either. Love is coming to find us. All of us. Because love is our essence. Love is who we are.

~ Daphne Rose Kingma, "The Future of Love" ~

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love

Contributed by: Joy Bringer

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on love, future, power, essence, loving, relationship, daphne, rose kingma, presence, joy, and inspiration

The future of love is true love, a great, sweet love that isn’t pain but joy, not small, but vast, not personal but spiritual. This is where we are going; this is our true destination. Our relationships are creating themselves in wild, new, beautiful, and terribly upsetting forms. They are creating demanding experiences that are necessary for us to expand as human beings and as spirits. All our relationships are in the process of melting, if not from without – as the form of marriage itself is dissolving – then from within, where we ourselves are melting down.

The soul is shifting our relationship focus from form to content, from rigidity to flexibility, from containment to expensiveness, from our emotional needs to love.

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love

Contributed by: Joy Bringer

A Quote by Daphne Rose Kingma on love, future, power, essence, loving, relationship, daphne, rose kingma, presence, joy, and inspiration

Love is a mighty power. It is light. It is the energy of life. It brings us into life and sustains us while we live and breathe. Love is an energy, not a substance. It is essence, not matter. You can’t contain it; you can't put it in a box, but you can feel it, taste it, and know it. Its presence is unmistakable. It is exquisite and profound. And when you are in love, nobody, not your best friend, your parents, or even your own parents, or even your own mind can talk you out of it.
~ Daphne Rose Kingma, "The Future of Love" ~

Daphne Rose Kingma

Source: The Future of Love

Contributed by: Joy Bringer

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