Christopher Morley

A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.

Everybody thinks of others as being excessively human, with all the frailties and crotchets appertaining to that curious condition. But each of us also seems to regard himself as existing on a detached plane of observation, exempt (save in moments of avid crisis) from the strange whims of humanity en masse.

Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going.

There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.

If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.

Read every day something no one else is reading. Think every day something no one else is thinking. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.

The big shots are only the little shots who keep shooting.

April prepares her green traffic light and the world thinks Go.

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where its usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs?

Chattering voltage like a broken wire The wild cicada cried, Six weeks to frost!