Ambrose Bierce

TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics.

THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.

TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors. In order to effect this purpose it is necessary to supply a contrast in the person of one who is called the defendant.

TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.

SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.

SUFFRAGE, n. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.