TWICE, adv. Once too often.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)
Source: The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
Contributed by: Zaady
TYPE, n. Pestilent bits of metal suspected of destroying civilization and enlightenment, despite their obvious agency in this incomparable dictionary.
TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").
UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
TRUCE, n. Friendship.
TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.
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