VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)
Source: The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
Contributed by: Zaady
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
UN-AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
UNDERSTANDING, n. A cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.
Copyright © 2014 Gaiam, Inc.