WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)
Source: The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
Contributed by: Zaady
WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
WITTICISM, n. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted, and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a "joke."
WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
WORMS'-MEAT, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material.
WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.
WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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