Ambrose Bierce

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

The covers of this book are too far apart.

There's nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

ZEUS, n. The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob and Dog.

ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden. (From "zed", "z", and "jag", an Icelandic word of unknown meaning.)

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times each day.