Ambrose Bierce

There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things we don't know.

Alliance (noun)
In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in each others pockets that neither can seperately plunder a third.

POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

Corrupt, adj.: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Cannibal, n. A gastronome of the old school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

The covers of this book are too far apart.