Is Your Container Too Small? How to Live a BIG Life

Cynthia James by Cynthia James | November 2nd, 2012 | 4 Comments
topic: Personal Growth

Woman inside a Cardboard Box

In the last few weeks, I have had several clients and other acquaintances who have shared their discontent. Their challenges range from unsatisfying relationships to chaotic work environments to spiritual disconnection to complete exhaustion. As I listened to each person there was a similar question that kept running through my mind: “Is your container too small?”

In each and every interaction, people described feeling constricted, depleted, stuck, unseen and misunderstood. They were all handling their situations in different ways and with varying levels of success. However, what they had in common is that they ALL wanted something or someone outside of themselves to change. Isn’t that interesting? The problem is that expecting your peace of mind to come from a shift somewhere else can only create stress and disappointment.

As I look back over my life, I realize that every time I experienced this kind of upset, the container I was in was too little. I had grown and was trying to make that situation expand with me. That created resistance, anger, frustration and, in some cases, all-out war. People do not want to be blamed, manipulated and shamed into doing what we want to feel better. The more we push, the more push-back we get.

How to live a BIG life:

Feel like a hostage in your own life? Here’s how to figure out if your container is too small, and, if so, how to open it up:

1. Ask yourself, “What do I really want, separate and apart from this condition?”
2. Identify how much time you are spending in painful discussions in your mind. If it is more than 10 percent, you are giving away your power.
3. Look at what your life would be like if the situation or people never changed. Are you willing to stay if the environment or relationship remains the same?
4. Journal how much you have grown and give thanks for your willingness to shift.
5. Give thanks for the people and situations and honor the gifts you have received.
6. Ask the universe to show you in tangible ways what your life could be like in a more expansive container (life, experience).

Do this process and I guarantee that you will experience more clarity. I must add here that you might be guided to let go of something or someone. Please listen to your inner guidance. Your suffering can end as soon as you are willing to listen and choose what is best for your most powerful life. You might even be creating space for someone to take your spot and receive abundant blessings.

Please affirm with me: Today, I put my full attention on choosing to live my BIG LIFE. I am clear that no thing and no one has the power to stop me from fulfilling my destiny.


  1. I can really appreciate this article. I often ask myself “what do I want my life to look and feel?” I recently decided to take charge of my life to make some dramatic changes. It’s working well so far and people in my life have noticed the transformation.

    Phoenixrose | November 2nd, 2012 | Comment Permalink
  2. learn today

    cheeryl | November 3rd, 2012 | Comment Permalink
  3. Awesome. Isn’t it wonderful to witness and experience our growth. I say bravo to you. Cynthia

    Cynthia James | November 7th, 2012 | Comment Permalink
  4. Wonderful article. You are what I’m grateful for today!

    patti montella | November 15th, 2012 | Comment Permalink

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