Is Online Dating My Only Option?

Arielle Ford by Arielle Ford | October 11th, 2010 | 5 Comments
topic: Personal Growth, Relationships

Woman sitting at the computer with a cup of coffeeHello Arielle & Brian,

I constantly have people telling me that I should pursue online dating. I am not sure if this is a sign from the universe (or not) but I feel absolutely no inspiration whatsoever to do this. The idea just brings bad vibes. If you do not take the signs the universe provides, does it stop orchestrating ways of bringing you a soulmate? I know the LOA (law of attraction) is always in play, but I am still concerned that since I am not acting on the universe’s sign (because there is no inspiration), it sends a negative message to the universe.

Also I briefly met a customer at my work who looked exactly like the type of guy I visualized, right down to the exact shirt and jeans. Unfortunately I was too focused on my work to pay much attention to him. I am planning to visualize seeing this particular man again, but I’m wondering if that will limit my chances of manifesting anyone else just in case he isn’t my intended soulmate. Please advise!



Hi Bonnie,

We don’t believe that you have to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do in order to manifest your soulmate. It sounds like online dating is NOT for you, so stop discussing it with other people and rehashing it with yourself.

Remember, the process of attracting your soulmate is one of magnetism. When you make the choice to live as if your soulmate is already a part of your life, you send out an irresistible signal to the universe that you are ready now. Not a signal that you’ll be ready someday — when you work less and your house is clean and you’ve lost five pounds! Remember the famous line in the 1989 movie Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner?  “If you build it, they will come.” Living “as if” is like flipping on a light switch inside your heart. This is the light your beloved will use to navigate his or her way to your door of love, care and appreciation.

If you stay focused on “knowing” that the one you asked for is ALREADY yours, and savor the waiting and love your life unconditionally, the right one will appear at the right time. If it happens to be the customer you described, how nice, but since you don’t even know anything about him except for his looks, we think you will block other potential possible soulmates by focusing on a stranger.

Wishing you love and laughter,

Arielle and Brian

E-mail your questions about life, love and relationships to Arielle and Brian at


  1. It’s an interesting question you pose and I completely agree with Arielle’s thoughtful response.

    On the one hand, we need to participate and take action in order to engage the law of attraction. On the other hand, as we tap into the knowing that he (or she) is on their way, we are also free to specify our preferences, both in characteristics and in how we will meet them.

    A friend was seeking her soulmate a few years back, and she expressed a preference for no long, drawn out ‘dating’ process and that the connection would just be there naturally. Well, this is exactly what happened for her. She’s never placed an online ad in her life.

    So perhaps define your preferences! Then, hold them lightly. The universe is remarkable in its wisdom…so remember to stay open to a situation that’s even better than you’ve asked for.

    Best wishes to you,


    Karen M. Black | October 24th, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  2. Live your life, enjoying each and every day as it comes, do all the activities you like and very possibly you might be open to another with similar desires. However, aged greek philosophy (stoic) suggest one lives ones life following virtues regardless of what other return or give back to you. Currently in our culture we all to often leive in relatioship which are essentially a barter system( I’ll love you if you love me) when one feels short changed difficulties arise. Be open to all life has to offer , it is the “process” by which we all grow, rather then the “acheivement “we so often perceive as the goal. Liking yourself when you are alone and ones contentment within it reveals your inner peace. Life/nature will present itself, with its own timeline- it will not come by force.
    You may decide to follow others recommended paths, yet one can only seek to learn, and follow ones own.
    “Life is a Banquet”–Epictetus– enjoy it all — though the food served is not always your preference

    Peter Yorkoski | November 1st, 2010 | Comment Permalink
  3. Of course not! we do all have our options to take. You just have to pick what’s best for you and not to forsake you.

    Anonymous | January 26th, 2011 | Comment Permalink
  4. Definitely wrong. Maybe online dating could be your last option but not your only option. You should learn how to get to know your self better and appreciate the people around you.

    Anonymous | January 27th, 2011 | Comment Permalink
  5. Thank you so much for this post and reply! I have been dealing with the same dilemma, so while the idea of online dating always leaves me cold, I worried that I was limiting my chances of finding love. This was just what I needed to hear.

    Courtney | August 19th, 2012 | Comment Permalink

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