Dear Arielle and Brian:
Three years ago I met someone who I strongly believe in my heart is my soulmate. We are engaged and have lived together for the past three years. I discovered he cheated on me and I told him to leave the house. He has groveled, begged for me to take him back and acknowledged that it was a terrible mistake.
My question is how can a soulmate cause so much pain? How can someone I love so dearly do this? Part of me wants him to come back, but the hurting part of me wants to let go. I have been honest with my thoughts and let him know where he stands. He asked me today what can he do to regain my trust and have me back?
Hope you can clear my mind a bit. Totally confused here.
Thank you for sharing your feelings regarding your love relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and heart vulnerability to ask the difficult questions and process these important issues. If we may, we would love to ask you a few more questions in hopes of you gaining more insight instead of assuming we have the answers.
You said that in your heart and intuitive guidance he is your soulmate, but do you feel a soulmate would cause you so much pain? Do you feel a soulmate would have to expend so much energy defending his or her actions? Do you feel like he has provided you a “soft place” to land? Has the relationship been healing and nurturing for you? Were you inspired by his devotion and unconditional love for you? Has he helped to remove your fears or support your aspirations?
These are important questions for you to answer from your heart. Your answers will help you determine if he has served you and your relationship at the “Soul” level. We have always honored and respected loving relationships that can work through these very difficult issues with integrity, forgiveness and the most important ingredient — trust.
Every one of us deserves a healthy and vibrant relationship with the one we love but you specifically asked us to reflect on your questions from a soulmate perspective. Hopefully our response will help you with your confusion. We will be sending lots of love and prayers to you and your partner no matter what road you take for the two of you.
Betsy, just know you have most likely helped many people who are in a similar situation you currently find yourself in and maybe this can assist them in gaining some clarity and insight into their own loving relationship.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle & Brian
Email your questions about life, love and relationships to Arielle & Brian at firstname.lastname@example.org. Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.
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