Find the Freedom in Forgiveness

Arielle Ford by Arielle Ford | December 19th, 2011 | No Comments
topic: Relationships

EnvelopeDear Arielle and Brian,

I was married for 30 years and it was always a difficult relationship. I learned many important life lessons throughout it all — even how to forgive betrayal, though we eventually divorced. For the past seven years I have been enjoying my single life, meeting lots of new friends, traveling, redecorating my home, growing spiritually … but this past summer I found out that my ex, now 59, had been living with a woman 20 years younger than him, and she is having his child. (We have two children together, now ages 27 and 29.) The idea that he had started over with a new family hit me hard and brought up much anger, resentment and feelings that he doesn’t deserve happiness. I know this is selfish and un-Christian of me but this is how I am feeling right now. I am in therapy and I have spiritual direction as well, but how do I get to forgiveness? I really want to manifest a new soulmate!

God bless you!


Dear Abigail,

Forgiveness is one of the most important steps to manifesting new love.

Good for you for realizing the need to forgive and release your ex-husband and for putting yourself into the hands of a good therapist. While getting to forgiveness is often a slow process, here’s one exercise to help you do it: Write him a letter. In this letter you get to tell him the WHOLE TRUTH about how much he hurt you. Let it rip because you are never, ever going send him this letter but you are going to purge your soul of all the anger, sadness and pain he caused you. Then, you are going to channel him. By using your imagination, you are going to write a letter from him to you and he is going to share with you his experience of being with you. You got to speak your truth, now he gets to speak his. At the end of both letters simply write: I now forgive you, I forgive myself, and I set you free.

WHY are you going to do this forgiveness process?

Because you are ready for love and you believe your soulmate is out there.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle and Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestselling book, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA. For more information, visit and

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.


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