During the past year I have done many of your suggested soulmate manifestation exercises, however, I still haven’t been able to emotionally pull the cord from my past relationship with Doug. We dated for a few months and then transitioned to just “good friends” because I’m not physically attracted to him and no longer wanted to be physically intimate with him. I care deeply for him and truly enjoy our time together as friends. I feel my heart is very connected to his but I can’t seem to resolve this past relationship and move on in peace. If you have any advice I would appreciate it!
It sounds like you have strongly bonded to Doug, most likely a result of both your close heart connection and the release of oxytocin in your brain during the times you two made love. Oxytocin is the “bonding hormone,” and in your case it sounds like you have formed a deeper connection than you meant to. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading biological anthropologists studying love and sex, this can be seen as a type of addiction and very difficult to overcome. You may want to take a “break” from your friendship with Doug for a while to unplug from the connection. Sometimes the daily exposure continues to reinforce the connection, making it harder and harder for you to make room in your life for someone new.
Whenever we are intimate with another, we leave energetic cords in and on each other. Cutting these cords will be an important next step. You can do this in several ways, including working with a professional energy healer or by taking a salt bath: Fill your tub with warm water and an entire container of table salt (not Epsom salt). Soak for 15-20 minutes and then as the water is draining out of the tub, continue to sit there and with your imagination see all the energetic cords from your past lovers going down the drain. Then stand up and take a long, hot, sudsy shower and shampoo your hair.
If you continue to find yourself thinking about him obsessively, you might consider finding a therapist or a coach to work with.
Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,
Arielle & Brian
Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old, finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.