transformation

This is the time of year people are in the throes of preparing for the upcoming holidays. Travel plans, family gatherings and food preparations fill many conversations.

It is also a time for some that brings up anxiety. The thought of being with family creates an inner dialogue that is focused on challenge, past chaotic experiences and dysfunctional interaction. It is so interesting to see how the past begins to color the future. Historic events and conditions create mind chatter that can’t even entertain the possibility of harmony.

Part of creating prosperity in your life is learning how to ask the right questions. Our early life experiences often lead us to focus on limited questions like these:

• How can I survive?
• How can I get even?
• How can I get by?
• How can I hide so nobody sees me?
• How can I get people to love me?

When my children were small, I would give them “time outs” to contemplate their behavior after a challenging experience. The intention was to support them in having time to gain clarity on the consequences of their actions. It didn’t always work, but it did support all of us in stopping for a short time to gain composure.

There is a lot of talk about oneness. We love the philosophers, teachers and healers that espouse wholeness and unity. There are blogs, newsletters and organizations dedicated to a world that is united, and it makes my heart smile to think that this aspect of the spiritual conversation is unfolding in such a grand way.

In the past few weeks, many people have come to me requesting information on accessing their joy. They have spoken about the challenges in their lives including divorce, lay offs, financial challenges and abuse from the past. As I have contemplated their questions, I kept coming back to one thing: Joy and happiness are states of consciousness. To experience joy, we must choose to activate that state. That is not always easy, especially when it appears that we are bombarded by so much information or in the midst of a life challenge.

In Wayne Muller’s book Sabbath, he speaks about the fact that dormancy is an important part of nature. The time of dormancy is a time of renewal and rejuvenation. Without this time, many species cannot bear fruit, or they simply die. He also points out that human beings seem to be the only species that does not honor stillness and downtime as an essential part of living. He describes this time as Sabbath, a time of taking refuge and opening to the stillness that lives within us.

I have been contemplating the handling of emotional pain for the past few days. I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with some people that are completely immersed in the roller coaster ride of out-of-control feelings, and it brought to my awareness how inept many of us are at dealing with pain. I witnessed mood changes that appeared without seeming cause, unpredictable reactions to small events and projection of “made up experiences” that caused someone to completely shut down.

Earlier this month, we focused on the invisible armor that surrounds areas of our body. Today I’d like to focus on another kind of armor: The kind surrounding the heart.

In the past two years, I have been devoting a lot of time to my physical health. I changed my eating habits and took working out to a new level. I released 20 pounds and have kept if off. It has required me to be completely dedicated to honoring my commitment to living a vibrant and healthy life.

I have a wonderful friend, Jami Lula. He is a gifted singer/songwriter, and one of his songs says, “I won’t waste one more minute of my life.” Those words moved straight to my heart and I was guided to say to myself, “Is there anywhere you are wasting time in your life?” The answer that came to me was surprising: a resounding “yes.” Indeed, I was in a holding pattern in some pretty significant areas. This revelation brought me to a deep recognition that I was stuck.