starting over

When my children were small, I would give them “time outs” to contemplate their behavior after a challenging experience. The intention was to support them in having time to gain clarity on the consequences of their actions. It didn’t always work, but it did support all of us in stopping for a short time to gain composure.

I have been contemplating the handling of emotional pain for the past few days. I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with some people that are completely immersed in the roller coaster ride of out-of-control feelings, and it brought to my awareness how inept many of us are at dealing with pain. I witnessed mood changes that appeared without seeming cause, unpredictable reactions to small events and projection of “made up experiences” that caused someone to completely shut down.

You’ve been doing well making a change, and then something threw a monkey wrench into your formula for success. Make no mistake — setbacks suck. You’re right back where you started. Actually it’s worse. Because you’ve set off that part of your mind that whispers, “See, you can’t do this. Just give up. Give in. It’s not worth even trying.” This is a truly dangerous moment. Because if we listen to this voice, not only do we not change this time, but we decrease the possibility of ever changing because we lose faith in ourselves.

Welcome back! Last time we created an intention statement and you have been reading it aloud daily. If you haven’t been able to do it everyday, don’t beat yourself up. Everything is a process and it may take some work. Activating willingness is a key. The intention statement is the visualization of the life you want to live. Being willing to live a vibrant and vital life will propel you into success.

Happy New Year! Most people begin the year feeling motivated to be more healthy, prosperous and successful. Statistics show that a majority of people do not succeed with their new resolutions. In fact, some do not even make it through the first quarter of the year. The reason is simple: People are trying to adjust from the outside.