friends

Stuck. Stymied. Spun out. Stressed. Sick. Silently (or perhaps not so silently) freaking out. We’ve all been there, we’ll all be there again. Because, sadly, personal development isn’t a tidy, linear, upward-moving arrow. It’s a curlicue, a doodle. At times it loops back on itself and shoots you somewhere you never expected to be.

This is an incomplete list of what to do in those moments when you need an energy boost, stat. And you can probably already tell I’m not talking about the energy that means physical stamina or strength, or how tired you are or aren’t. I’m talking about how you view, interact with, and show up in the world. It’s your own personal frequency, and when you learn how to access the higher energy levels, that’s when the inevitable detours stop feeling so hard and avoid becoming cul de sacs.

Here’s how to access those groovy-feeling higher energy states when you find yourself bogged down in feeling sorry for yourself, ticked off at someone else, or replaying events over and over in your mind:

What is addiction? How does it feel to be an addict? What does it look like? Is there a way out, a place BEYOND ADDICTION? These critical questions and the way we answer them make the difference between living a life enslaved to destructive behaviors and one of freedom and expansion.

Most people are familiar with addiction to drugs or alcohol, but addiction takes many forms and it is everywhere around us, all the time. At its very core, addiction is any behavior you continue to engage in despite the negative consequences it brings. If we take the time to really look at ourselves and at the world around us, we don’t have to look hard to see it. Addiction is the root of some of the biggest challenges our society faces today. For example, the medical pandemics of childhood obesity, type 2-diabetes and heart disease are preventable lifestyle diseases driven in large part by addiction.

As an addict you feel stuck, incapable of giving up that thing that you “need” to survive, to function. It twists your thinking, your experience of the world. Addiction leaves you lying to your friends, to your family, to yourself. Being an addict is like being in a small dark room where the only exit seems to be locked from the outside.

The truth is that there is a way out, a way BEYOND ADDICTION. Though neither easy, nor a road one travels alone, a life beyond the grips of addiction is very real. At one time I was stuck in that downward spiral, but after 21 years of recovery I am living proof that an expansive and vibrant life beyond addiction can and does exist.

Humans are inherently social creatures. Most of us enjoy the company of others and spend much of our waking time engaging in social interactions with friends and family.

Interestingly, people who spend a lot of time together often adopt one another’s eating and exercise habits, sometimes for the better, but often for the worse. Remember the old saying ‘birds of a feather, flock together’?

But there’s a positive side to our desire to conform socially. Find the right circle of friends — your own personal support group — and sticking to an exercise schedule or diet becomes easier. Hence the popularity of organized weight-loss groups and exercise classes.

Furthermore, research demonstrates that just having a weight-loss or fitness support system in place results in better adherence to diet and exercise and more pounds shed and kept off over the long term.

Don’t have access to a local support group? Make your own via one of the following social media platforms:

I’m just going to say it … I think the holiday season needs a radical overhaul.

We see ads for the perfect holiday meals, served in a lovely setting where everyone is smiling, especially the gracious host. Truth is, in order to achieve this type of perfection, we nearly kill ourselves with stress trying to get that end result.

I’m sure your mind, like mine, is kicked into high gear this time of year to attend to the million things you have to accomplish between now and January first, but time is limited and your body begins to suffer. It will only be a short time before insomnia and exhaustion set in. Instead of enjoying our time with loved ones, we can wind up emotionally unavailable and stressed out.

I love good food and celebrations with family and friends. Which makes Thanksgiving one of my favorite holidays — it serves up both in spades!

But this Thanksgiving, I did something a little different. Rather than filling my belly with the usual feast, I decided to observe a day of fasting, which I followed up with a donation to our local food bank.

That’s right: a no-food Thanksgiving!

You can make the holidays a time of dramatic change and healing by using your innate intuitive abilities in a conscious and directed way.

Holidays are supposed to be a time when families unite, when you are reminded of your childhood or revisit the memories of yourself over the years. You may be spending this time alone or far from home. But no matter where you are or who you are with, the holidays provide you with a unique opportunity to heal the inner patterns and relationships that have been obstructing your life and hindering your dreams.

I did a Google search on what causes stress in people’s lives and I found things like unemployment, divorce, financial problems, health issues, fatigue and so on. In reflecting on how I deal with stress, let’s just say that far, far less than unemployment has caused me to eat a dozen donuts in one sitting!

Yes, I’m talking about stress eating. Most of us have had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing it at one point or another, and it is not for the faint of heart. I can down a whole can of party peanuts if Auden has a particularly bad day at school! Thankfully I have come to terms with the real me and I am now able to recognize the signs of impending stress and do a fairly good job of not eating us out of house and home when things get rough. Please allow me to share some of my tips, and I welcome any you have to share that have worked for you.

Oftentimes people come to me and state that their intention is to heal. The definition of healing is to restore to health and soundness; to set right; restoration of that which is damaged to its normal function; regeneration (spiritual, revival, rebirth); and renewal of any lost part.

“The renewal of any lost part” caught my attention. During challenging times people are often seeking parts of themselves that they think have been lost, stolen or damaged. I believe that we are, inherently, whole, and that at the core of our being, beauty and peace exist. When my clients speak about wanting to heal, we explore the deep desire to remember that they are not broken or damaged goods. We talk about the fact that in every situation there is good and it is leading us back to a state of wholeness. When the Japanese mend broken objects, they fill the cracks with gold. They believe that when something is damaged and has a history, it is more beautiful. What if that were true of us? What if each and every aspect of our life stories was an essential ingredient that made us stronger and more beautiful?

Dear Arielle and Brian,

During the past year I have done many of your suggested soulmate manifestation exercises, however, I still haven’t been able to emotionally pull the cord from my past relationship with Doug. We dated for a few months and then transitioned to just “good friends” because I’m not physically attracted to him and no longer wanted to be physically intimate with him. I care deeply for him and truly enjoy our time together as friends. I feel my heart is very connected to his but I can’t seem to resolve this past relationship and move on in peace. If you have any advice I would appreciate it!

What does it take to manifest the love of your life?

I’ve heard from first-time brides (at 49 and older!), from busy entrepreneurs whose 80-hour-a-week work schedules left little time for romance, and from divorcees and widowers who were convinced that the opportunity for true love had long passed them by. Whether these soulmate success stories come from Russia, Ireland, Spain, South Korea, Nova Scotia, Poland, Iran, Slovenia, Austria, Germany, Norway or the good ’ole U.S. of A., I can always spot the common theme woven throughout them: Those who have successfully manifested their soulmates did so by finding a healthy balance between intending and allowing; between doing and being.