Balloons: Party or Pollutant?

I’m not really a party pooper. I love cake. I adore Pin the Tail on the Donkey. I can even be cajoled into wearing a little pointy cardboard hat. But balloons? Grrr…

Why do I loathe balloons? An unfortunate “pop” in my childhood? A bizarre fear of brightly colored objects? A latex allergy?

Nope. I’ve simply spent too much of my life picking up the tattered remains of revelry on the beach where I spend my summers. I have a front row seat for much of what we throw into our lakes. And that Mother Nature throws right back at us. Pop cans, chip bags, water bottles — and balloons. Just this morning, as I took a shoreside stroll, I counted five “Happy Birthday” Mylar balloons, a Dora the Explorer balloon and a half a dozen ribbons tied to torn bits of brightly colored latex. I always carry a garbage bag to collect the detritus, then dispose of it properly.

Balloons can harm wildlife

It’s not laziness or an unwillingness to pick up others’ mess that sparks my balloon ire. It’s the knowledge that these balloons — these symbols of freedom and childhood and happiness — mean exactly the opposite for too many marine creatures. Balloons have been found in the bellies of plenty of already threatened marine creatures — loggerhead turtles, dolphins, sharks. The strings of these balloons have been found twisted around the feet and beaks of waterbirds.

While a U.K. study on the environmental persistence of latex balloons indicated that they biodegrade “faster than an oak leaf,” what I see on the shore seems to belie this. (And let’s please note that oak leaves are notoriously slow to break down.)

What goes up, comes down

What’s more, cold waters can slow down biodegradation, leaving the balloons floating for weeks, where they can easily be mistaken for squid or jellyfish — staples for many marine animals, such as dolphins and turtles. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, that island of floating detritus between California and Hawaii, is also home to plenty of deflated balloons, offering up further evidence that what goes up will inevitably come down.

Balloon enthusiasts refute many of the findings of environmental groups, saying that latex balloons — predominantly the type used by the average party mom and by those organizing mass balloon releases — don’t pose harm to wildlife.

While there seems to be plenty of evidence to the contrary, even the pollution aspect is enough to relegate balloons to the history books. The Marine Conservation Society recently cited a 260 percent increase in balloon pollution found on the shores of the Atlantic (an ocean, incidentally, of which we share the other shore).

Don’t call me a party pooper. Just someone who thinks we can surely mark occasions in ways that don’t leave me picking up the pieces.