A Rude Awakening: Not All Thank-You Gifts Create Clutter
by Leslie Garrett | September 25th, 2009 | Comments (3)
topic: Green Living | tags: appreciation, eco-friendly gifts, eliminating clutter, generosity, gifts, local gifts, local stores, recyclable gifts, rudeness, thank-you gifts, thoughtfulness
Rudeness is on the increase, according to recent research revealed by the University of Florida management professor, Amir Erez. “People are experiencing rudeness more and more. It’s everywhere,” he said.
Since it’s everywhere, I would expect to have encountered it. Yet, I live a life oddly devoid of rudeness. With the exception of my 8-year-old son who likes to burp the alphabet and a flatulent dog who never says “Excuse me” or even has the decency to look chagrined at clearing out yet another room, my life is one of kindness and generosity.
A bit too much, in fact.
What has happened to a simple, sincere “thank you”?
People are so generous and thoughtful with their appreciation that it’s starting to make me (neither generous nor thoughtful) look bad. It’s also starting to leave me with entirely too much “stuff.” What has happened to the value in a simple, sincere “thank you” or “congratulations.”
It started with the birth of my first child. Never before had I been the recipient of so many flowers and gifts. I was shocked — and buried beneath umpteen receiving blankets, sleepers and Baby Beethoven videos. And it hasn’t let up since.
When a friend gave birth to twins, I offered to look after her older kids one afternoon. She thanked me with a gift bag overflowing with goodies. Nice, but unnecessary.
I have a “gift cupboard” full of kindness — thoughtful gifts that people have bestowed upon me for various things: pet-sitting, carpooling, volunteering, donating, coaching … The problem? It’s completely inconsistent with my desire for less clutter and “stuff.”
Is there such a thing as local, eco-friendly, clutter-free gifts?
Just yesterday, a friend arrived on my doorstep with a gift-wrapped box. Why? When the family was on holiday, my kids and I took care of their fish. Fish! It amounted to sprinkling a few flakes of fish food into a tank twice a day. Grand total of time and effort: perhaps 10 minutes over the course of two weeks. Hardly worthy of a material thank you.
So, I mustered up my courage and, as diplomatically as possible, I suggested that a gift was really not necessary and that the kids (and our cat!) had enjoyed the fish.
This friend, who shares my predilection for a life with less, understood completely. She assured me she understood my concern but pointed out that within the gift-wrapped box were homemade gingerbread cookies from a locally owned bakery in her neighborhood.
“I get to do something nice for you, support a wonderful business and, when they’re eaten, you’re not left with anything to store or dispose of.”
Her argument was persuasive. And I do love homemade gingerbread. So, as my kids and I munched on a gingerbread fish (This friend thinks of everything — themed cookies, after all), I rethought my notions of thanks and gift-giving. And I’m embracing my friend’s way of thinking.
Today, while this same friend looks after my two kids, freeing me up to take my 80-year-old father to the doctor, I’m going to stop by my favorite locally owned store and pick up some beautiful hemp soaps. When they’re used, she’ll be left with nothing but a recyclable paper wrapper.
Maybe, just maybe, this is the start of new, improved, thoughtful … me.
I totally agree with your friend. Most of my favorite gift giving ideas include food that I know the recipient will eat, soaps I know the recipient will use, and I try to be as light on the packaging as possible. I might make a “gift mug” out of a nice reusable ceramic mug with cocoa, cinnamon sticks, marshmallows and spoon for a hot chocolate lover (easy to change up for coffee lovers as well) and use a bit of raffia maybe… if I think they could use the mug (it’s something I might give to someone who had broken their favorite mug or had been complaining their mug was too small for their favorite drink… like my mother did.) If I baked some cookies, a nice little plate that can later be used for small treats or as a drip plate for ladles in use might be picked unless I know they would prefer a simple recyclable box. There are many ways to say thank you without filling others’ lives with clutter. Thinking them up is half the fun.
I love hearing different ideas re. my posts. It’s a great idea to give our “giftts” ie. talents to our friends as thank-yous: our ability to balance books, mend, make a casserole, grow strawberries… I can always edit your letters to your kids’ teacher. That’s, sadly, my only talent…though I’m working on an awesome “virtuous” chocolate-chip recipe. Fair-trade chocolate, free-range eggs, organic whole-wheat flour, etc. I’ll post soon….when it’s edible.
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