I’m Spiritual — He’s Not. Can Our Relationship Work?

Arielle Ford by Arielle Ford | February 24th, 2012 | 1 Comment
topic: Relationships

Spiritual Couple

Dear Arielle & Brian,

I have been married for 10 years. Three years ago I began a serious spiritual path to discovering the awesome abundance of possibilities in the spiritual world. I have asked my husband to join me on this journey. I have told him that I love him and I long for more romance and spontaneity. His response was very negative and he says I am forcing him into something he is not comfortable with. He surfs, windsurfs and plays guitar and he says that this is way of connecting to the Spirit. Do you think a marriage can survive if one partner embraces the spiritual journey and the other does not?

With love,


Dear Ursula,

We can feel your pain. So many couples face similar challenges. First we want to ask you to do your best to honor your husband’s spiritual path of surfing, windsurfing and playing guitar. Connecting to Mother Nature and all its beauty is a powerful and direct path to God (or whatever you wish to call it). Remember, we are all riding different vehicles but hopefully arriving at the same destination. If you honor his path with devotion and respect then it will be easier for him to come around to your request for abundant intimacy and playful spontaneity (remember to make it fun and creative as well).

As you know, we come into a marriage with different histories, wounds and tools to navigate this wonderful thing we call sacred union. The path is a daily opportunity to practice love, compassion, gratitude and fierce grace. Our sense is that the deeper issue for you is not so much one of shared spiritual path (because as mentioned above you both seem open to spirit in your own ways), but it may be some other deeper personal blocks that you may want to explore, as a couple, with a therapist or counselor.

Sending you prayers for deep healing,

Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestselling book, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her husband and soulmate Brian Hilliard is a business consultant with a life-long interest in spirituality and the practice of compassion. They live in La Jolla, CA. For more information, visit soulmatesecret.com and soulmatekit.com.

Disclaimer: Arielle Ford, Brian Hilliard, the Big Love column and its publishers assume no responsibility for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the information, services or other material related to this column.


  1. I have the same problem. I broke up with my partner of 3 years about 8 months ago, i was devastated, but come full circle, and had more time for me and started to find ‘myself’ again and get in touch with my spiritual side. Ive started seeing my partner again(ex) but am not sure, in my heart its the right thing to do, as he is very narrow minded and i cant talk to him about anything remotely spiritual. I feel that maybe my life wont take the right direction if im with him.. I want to try and talk to him about spiritual life and the ‘god source’ but feel he just doenst get it !

    Chanelle | May 3rd, 2014 | Comment Permalink

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